you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
