I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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