i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
