Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
