On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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