can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
