I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
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