Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
