He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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