was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
