Pants 0. Shit 1.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
i believe in u and ur pee
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
