he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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