nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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