I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Randomize
