chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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