i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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