My friends, they love my intelligence
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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