Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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