brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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