I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
