I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
