Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
