We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
