I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
