just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
