just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
