Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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