It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
