Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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