He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
