I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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