You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
