Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
