he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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