PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
