I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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