just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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