he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
