Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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