at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
