Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
