this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
