I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
