you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
