She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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