she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
