i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
