Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
