Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
he wants to bone in the snuggie
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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