I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
