Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
