I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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