Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Randomize
