All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
