farters have to be the big spoon...
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
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